Stochastic is a "special" person?

So what would you do if everything you ever knew about money and investing turned out to be nonsense? How would you hide the bruises where you'd been kicking yourself for being such a plonker? What do you do first? I've spent a week trying to answer these questions. I've discovered, much to my surprise that concerns about retirement and college for my kids are slowly taking up the space in my head that was previously reserved for boobies and sports cars. I think I'm in shock!

For me terms like compound interest, bullish and bearish were little more than fancy words that boffins used on CNN to make themselves look smart. Ain't nuffin but bullshit, I'd say before switching the channel to Top Gear.

Last weekend was my crash course on investing. I spent two days from 8 to 5 getting cozy with about 100 other people who, just like me, thought that stochastic was just a word to describe "special" people. It isn't. It's actually a term used to describe something that indicates something or other. OK, I can't really remember, but it's really important - I think. Anyway, the details aren't important. What is important is that I've pissed away so much opportunity. I tell you, if I was in my 60's like the guy sitting next to me in class, I'd have just off'd myself already. 67 years old and no money for retirement. Suddenly the greeter position in Walmart starts to look attractive.

I've got my eye on a new Jaguar XK and that would make me feel so much better about my future than 70k in stocks; driving a beat up Honda Civic to catch the latest 2-for-1 deal at Walmart. And that's what sucks so much about investing in the future - the current has the suffer. But spending my retirement reusing tea bags, buying canned meats, cutting coupons and counting pennies is a truly frightening concept for me.

So this is me making a commitment to change the way that I think about money. Change the way I think about my family's future. Change the way I live my life. But before all of that, I simply must catch up on Top Gear! They're gonna review the XK in the next episode on my TIVO HD... See how hard this is gonna be for me?

-Saturday, October 11, 2008 at 11:25am